The One Where You’ll Thank Me, Twice October 26, 2009

So awhile back I threw The Proposal into the dvd player. This is the Sandra Bullock/Ryan Reynolds* flick where she is his boss and she forces him to marry her so she won’t be deported to Canada. Sure, it was predictable. However, it was really funny. I rarely laugh out loud when watching movies. I laughed out loud twice. Sure, you have to like both Bullock and Reynolds**, but I do. It also helps if you like Betty White, Rob Base, and lil’ jon. Yes, I just typed those three names together.

In other news, I’m trying to get an article published from  my dissertation. And by “trying” I mean “occasionally trying to whittle down over 200 pages to 7,000 words or less.” And by “occasionally” I mean “hardly ever.” Writing is hard. Well, writing is easy. Making myself concentrate is hard. I have tv to watch and books to read. Off I go…

*you’re welcome
**you’re welcome

The One With a View October 9, 2009

Snowshoe, WV, originally uploaded by stcsmh.

So last week I traveled back to my home turf. Although I’m from West Virginia, I had never been to the Snowshoe Mountain Resort. Once I turned onto the property and started up the mountain the fog got heavier and heavier. I couldn’t see a thing – basically stopping by each sign so that I could read what it said. The fog remained the whole day. It was actually kind of creepy.

Thursday I woke up with low expectations. But when I opened my curtains, it was a whole new world. This was our view from the conference center all day. Deer came out and joined us toward the end of the day. Beautiful. Friday – fog again, until I drove down the mountain.

I made this panoramic picture using autostitch. It’s free, quick, and easy. Google it and download it. And don’t forget to take a series of overlapping pictures next time you see something as pretty as this.

The One Where It’s Finally Here September 16, 2009

In approximately 38 hours, I will be headed to the beach. What does the beach mean to you? To me it means doing nothing. My guests (and fellow beach-goers) will be lucky if I get out of my pajamas. I have reading materials, snacks, and adult beverages ready to go. Oh yeah, and swimsuits and sunscreen. This trip is a graduation present for myself and I plan to enjoy every minute of it. I will be joined by friends and family off and on throughout the week. Did I mention the house is right ON the beach? I’ll be able to fall asleep each night to the sound of the waves. Does it get any better?*

I’ve got a quick movie review for y’all. Perfume: The Story of a Murderer. I hung in there through the asinine murders (I don’t think that’s a spoiler alert), but the mass orgy? Really? So… just…don’t.

I’ll be out of pocket while I’m on vacation. Try not to miss me too much.

* NO

The One With Bananas, With Eyes August 30, 2009

Today I watched two good, but very different movies - Frozen River and Adventureland.

Frozen River was about a lady desperate for money to support her two sons and get them into a better home. This lady kind of stumbles in to transporting illegal aliens across the Canadian border. Ooops, don’t you hate it when that happens? Me too. The movie also starred a cute little Mohawk lady (Mohawk as in Native American, not a hair style). I don’t know if she’s actually Mohawk, but she played one in the movie. Also, there’s a frozen river and a baby in a duffle bag. All in all, a well-acted, good film. So to summarize, Frozen River – good, but don’t watch it if you’re depressed. It will only deepen the abyss. I give it 4 out of 5 Hot Wheels Blast & Crash Track Set.

After a quick trip to Walmart to pick up a few things, I settled back onto the couch for Adventureland.

This movie, which takes place in the mid-80’s, tells the story of a recent college graduate whose big plans for a European vacation and graduate school are dashed. The only summer job he can get is at Adventureland – a theme park in Pittsburgh. The picture was actually filmed at Kennywood, which is in Pittsburgh. What a coincidence! The main guy was good (Jesse Eisenberg – thanks IMDB!) but I’m just not sure I’m a Kristen Stewart fan. I am, however, a Kristen Wiig fan, even though she has a weird last name. The movie has a great soundtrack, assuming you love 80’s music, geeky guys, and Ryan Reynolds – but who doesn’t? I give it 5 out of 5 bananas, with eyes.

The One With the Feet August 25, 2009

Yea, I like to post at least once a month, just to keep it fresh. I was wondering what I’d post about and just got some inspiration from the tv. (For some reason, when I read “from the tv” I hear it in my head with a southern accent. Maybe because it’s more proper to say from the television? I don’t know. I shouldn’t talk about the voices in my head. Out loud anyway.)

You probably know by now that I hate feet*. Bare feet specifically. Other people’s bare feet even more specifically. My own feet are fine and I have no problem with people touching them. In fact, yesterday I got a manicure, but I digress.

I would rather touch a nasty shoe that’s been exposed to the nasty ground than someone’s bare feet. I realize that this isn’t rational, but I never claimed to be (I don’t think). Anyway, the point of this is that when I started typing this a Lamisil commercial came on. I can’t watch that commercial at all. It makes me nauseous. I have to turn away when it’s on.

Now I don’t have foot problems, but I just don’t see how that little creature is an appealing ad mascot. He’s not cute and he doesn’t even have a cute voice. Plus, there’s the feet. Everywhere. *shudder* I’m not in advertising, but I think they can do better. Lamisil really needs to ask themselves WWDDD**?

*In fact, I may have already posted about my hatred of feet and forgotten already. I never claimed to be a good rememberer.

**What would Don Draper do?

The One Where I Wonder What the Hell I Was Thinking July 10, 2009

So yeah, I decided to participate in Infinite Summer. For those of you not in the know (and too lazy to click on the link), some people on the internets are all reading Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace at the same time. It has a bunch of pages – I’d give you the exact number but I’m too lazy to go grab the book. It has at least 1000 pages and extensive footnotes.

I’ll be the first to admit, I like light reading. I read a lot of fiction and a variety of fiction – chick lit, Stephen King, Nora Roberts*, etc. I don’t want to put a lot of effort into my reading. This was especially true when I was working on my dissertation. I needed something to keep my brain busy, but not tax it.

Well let me tell you, this book ain’t easy. The narrative is hard to follow, there are tons of run-on sentences, and he uses big words (to the extent that someone had to make a dictionary). The Infinite Summer blog says to trust DFW, to stick with it, and I’m trying. There have been moments in the book where I’ve laughed out loud, which I rarely do when reading. But for the most part, it’s just hard (and I skipped the footnote that was 8 pages long).

So why am I doing it? I don’t know. But I’m going to try to stick with it.

It may truly feel like an infinite summer.

* I read her until I worked at Books-a-Million and realized she was classified as “Romance.” That’s where I draw the line.

The One With a Tip for the Anal Retentive June 8, 2009

First of all, does “anal retentive” have a hyphen? 

Now that I have that out of the way, I’d like to start a new series of postings here on Just Another Sarah. I am, indeed, anal retentive about some things. And if I’m not anal about them, my husband is, or my best friend is. So, suffice it to say, I know lots about being anal.

You may not be anal retentive (I really want to put a hyphen in it) and that’s okay. However, I fear that your life may often feel chaotic, unorganized… seriously, how do you function? So, to bring some order to your life, I thought I would start sharing some anal-retentive tips with you.

Tip #1: alphabetizing
I HIGHLY recommend* putting your DVDs in alphabetical order. Also, if you still have your CD collection out or you still listen to CDs (mine are all on my iPod, automatically alphabetized for me – thank you sweet baby Jesus) they too should be alphabetized. Otherwise, how else will you ever find what you’re looking for???

Movies are arranged by title, music is arranged by artist. Also, you must NEVER just throw a CD or DVD into the nearest empty case. I start twitching just thinking about it. It’s just wrong, y’all.

Sure, it’s a pain in the ass to shuffle everything around when you add a new movie to the collection. But there’s also something very satisfying about getting them all in order, right? Maybe it’s just me…

On a side note, books do NOT need to be in alphabetical order, but they should be grouped by author. Then they should be arranged so they look pretty on a bookshelf. Analness should not trump aesthetics.

You’re welcome.

*”Highly recommend” means “mandatory but I can’t enforce it if you don’t do it” in education-ese.

The One Where I Ruminate May 22, 2009

Remember how I used to review movies? Well, movie reviews are back by popular demand. Okay, no one really demanded it and it may not even be popular, but I’m going to do it anyway.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button... I’m sure you all (all two of you) know the basic story - Brad Pitt is born old and ages backward. Someone compared it to Forrest Gump, but I disagree. I think they were just letting viewers know where the characters were in history.

I thought it was really good. It stuck with me after I watched it, which means I was thinking about it the next day. That doesn’t happen too often with me. Typically, I can hardly remember what I watched, much less ruminate on it. (I hope I used the word ruminate correctly… can you believe someone gave me a PhD?)

So, I give it 5 out of 5 ruminations of Brad Pitt on his motorcycle.

The One With the Pillow May 20, 2009

5-7-09 001, originally uploaded by stcsmh.

So I get home from work one day and let the dogs out (who, who, who!) as usual. I see Nola standing on the hill and notice that her butt is bloody. Now, if you’re a dog owner, you can imagine my horror. If she ate something and it did that to her BUTT, what did it do to her insides? So I call her over and take a closer look.

Upon further inspection, I find a hole next to her, well, hole. Being an animal pro (I think) I clean the wound, slap some Neosporin on it, and go upstairs and put on my pj’s. I come downstairs and it’s still bleedling preety badly. So I go back up and change clothes and head to the emergency vet.

I tell the receptionist the situation, she looks at Nola’s butt and says, “ruptured anal gland.”
“Excuse me?”
“Ruptured anal gland.”
“THEY DO THAT??”
“Yes.”

So, after some sedative, a shaved butt, a wound cleaning, and a lot of money, we head home.

And that is why Nola is using her tongue as a pillow in this picture.

The One With Leapin’ Lizards! May 14, 2009

Leapin’ Lizards!, originally uploaded by stcsmh.

This is known as a green anole (according to a google search performed using the term “lizard throat expands”). We here in the south just call it a lizard. They are very familiar and common and not scary at all. Their throat (or dewlap, according to the google search) is not always like this. It expands the throat to indicate excitement (according to the google search).

My experience with them is that they tend to stay around the same area. I know, you’re wondering how do I know they stick around. If they are so prevalent, how do you know it’s not just different lizards you’re seeing? Well let me tell you…

My cat, Rudy, who you’ve seen on here before, is big. Perhaps you couldn’t tell by the pictures, but he weighs 20+ pounds. This means that it’s tough for him to be ninja-like. So one day, in my old house, he shuffled past me looking sneaky and guilty. I followed him and a lizard dropped out of his mouth.

ACK!

The lizard had lost the better part of his (her?) tail,but was, for the most part, not injured. I picked him (her?) up and took her (him?)outside to freedom. This was the summer that the lizards kept breaking into my screened porch. I kept warning them that Rudy would try to eat them, but they wouldn’t listen. But I digress…

So, a few weeks later, I go out my back door and there is a lizard inside the screen. It was missing most of it’s tail. The same lizard I had saved. Once again, I ushered it to freedom.

This is why I think they stick around. They’re too stupid to go away.