The One Where You’ll Thank Me, Twice October 26, 2009

So awhile back I threw The Proposal into the dvd player. This is the Sandra Bullock/Ryan Reynolds* flick where she is his boss and she forces him to marry her so she won’t be deported to Canada. Sure, it was predictable. However, it was really funny. I rarely laugh out loud when watching movies. I laughed out loud twice. Sure, you have to like both Bullock and Reynolds**, but I do. It also helps if you like Betty White, Rob Base, and lil’ jon. Yes, I just typed those three names together.

In other news, I’m trying to get an article published from  my dissertation. And by “trying” I mean “occasionally trying to whittle down over 200 pages to 7,000 words or less.” And by “occasionally” I mean “hardly ever.” Writing is hard. Well, writing is easy. Making myself concentrate is hard. I have tv to watch and books to read. Off I go…

*you’re welcome
**you’re welcome

The One With a View October 9, 2009

Snowshoe, WV, originally uploaded by stcsmh.

So last week I traveled back to my home turf. Although I’m from West Virginia, I had never been to the Snowshoe Mountain Resort. Once I turned onto the property and started up the mountain the fog got heavier and heavier. I couldn’t see a thing – basically stopping by each sign so that I could read what it said. The fog remained the whole day. It was actually kind of creepy.

Thursday I woke up with low expectations. But when I opened my curtains, it was a whole new world. This was our view from the conference center all day. Deer came out and joined us toward the end of the day. Beautiful. Friday – fog again, until I drove down the mountain.

I made this panoramic picture using autostitch. It’s free, quick, and easy. Google it and download it. And don’t forget to take a series of overlapping pictures next time you see something as pretty as this.

The One Where It’s Finally Here September 16, 2009

In approximately 38 hours, I will be headed to the beach. What does the beach mean to you? To me it means doing nothing. My guests (and fellow beach-goers) will be lucky if I get out of my pajamas. I have reading materials, snacks, and adult beverages ready to go. Oh yeah, and swimsuits and sunscreen. This trip is a graduation present for myself and I plan to enjoy every minute of it. I will be joined by friends and family off and on throughout the week. Did I mention the house is right ON the beach? I’ll be able to fall asleep each night to the sound of the waves. Does it get any better?*

I’ve got a quick movie review for y’all. Perfume: The Story of a Murderer. I hung in there through the asinine murders (I don’t think that’s a spoiler alert), but the mass orgy? Really? So… just…don’t.

I’ll be out of pocket while I’m on vacation. Try not to miss me too much.

* NO

The One Where I Wonder What the Hell I Was Thinking July 10, 2009

So yeah, I decided to participate in Infinite Summer. For those of you not in the know (and too lazy to click on the link), some people on the internets are all reading Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace at the same time. It has a bunch of pages – I’d give you the exact number but I’m too lazy to go grab the book. It has at least 1000 pages and extensive footnotes.

I’ll be the first to admit, I like light reading. I read a lot of fiction and a variety of fiction – chick lit, Stephen King, Nora Roberts*, etc. I don’t want to put a lot of effort into my reading. This was especially true when I was working on my dissertation. I needed something to keep my brain busy, but not tax it.

Well let me tell you, this book ain’t easy. The narrative is hard to follow, there are tons of run-on sentences, and he uses big words (to the extent that someone had to make a dictionary). The Infinite Summer blog says to trust DFW, to stick with it, and I’m trying. There have been moments in the book where I’ve laughed out loud, which I rarely do when reading. But for the most part, it’s just hard (and I skipped the footnote that was 8 pages long).

So why am I doing it? I don’t know. But I’m going to try to stick with it.

It may truly feel like an infinite summer.

* I read her until I worked at Books-a-Million and realized she was classified as “Romance.” That’s where I draw the line.

The One With the Pillow May 20, 2009

5-7-09 001, originally uploaded by stcsmh.

So I get home from work one day and let the dogs out (who, who, who!) as usual. I see Nola standing on the hill and notice that her butt is bloody. Now, if you’re a dog owner, you can imagine my horror. If she ate something and it did that to her BUTT, what did it do to her insides? So I call her over and take a closer look.

Upon further inspection, I find a hole next to her, well, hole. Being an animal pro (I think) I clean the wound, slap some Neosporin on it, and go upstairs and put on my pj’s. I come downstairs and it’s still bleedling preety badly. So I go back up and change clothes and head to the emergency vet.

I tell the receptionist the situation, she looks at Nola’s butt and says, “ruptured anal gland.”
“Excuse me?”
“Ruptured anal gland.”
“THEY DO THAT??”
“Yes.”

So, after some sedative, a shaved butt, a wound cleaning, and a lot of money, we head home.

And that is why Nola is using her tongue as a pillow in this picture.

The One With Leapin’ Lizards! May 14, 2009

Leapin’ Lizards!, originally uploaded by stcsmh.

This is known as a green anole (according to a google search performed using the term “lizard throat expands”). We here in the south just call it a lizard. They are very familiar and common and not scary at all. Their throat (or dewlap, according to the google search) is not always like this. It expands the throat to indicate excitement (according to the google search).

My experience with them is that they tend to stay around the same area. I know, you’re wondering how do I know they stick around. If they are so prevalent, how do you know it’s not just different lizards you’re seeing? Well let me tell you…

My cat, Rudy, who you’ve seen on here before, is big. Perhaps you couldn’t tell by the pictures, but he weighs 20+ pounds. This means that it’s tough for him to be ninja-like. So one day, in my old house, he shuffled past me looking sneaky and guilty. I followed him and a lizard dropped out of his mouth.

ACK!

The lizard had lost the better part of his (her?) tail,but was, for the most part, not injured. I picked him (her?) up and took her (him?)outside to freedom. This was the summer that the lizards kept breaking into my screened porch. I kept warning them that Rudy would try to eat them, but they wouldn’t listen. But I digress…

So, a few weeks later, I go out my back door and there is a lizard inside the screen. It was missing most of it’s tail. The same lizard I had saved. Once again, I ushered it to freedom.

This is why I think they stick around. They’re too stupid to go away.

The One Where I’m Phinally a Doctor May 13, 2009

Dr. K, originally uploaded by stcsmh.

I have not forgotten about you, blog. I’ve just been busy… finalizing the dissertation, graduating, trying to get re-grow some of my brain cells.

Women talk about pregnancy brain, but I also think there is dissertation brain. I only had enough room in my head for two things: 1) to do my job and 2) to write my dissertation. This fact was made all too clear when I had to ask my husband if 1 and 1/2 hours was 90 minutes when I was putting a frozen lasagna in the oven.

But that’s all over with. It’s weird to not have anything hanging over my head. But it’s a good weird. VERY good.

I will update more frequently… I’ll just need to find something to talk about… there’s a little mystery to figure out.

The One Where I Put the Draft to Bed February 26, 2009

Snapshot_20090225_1, originally uploaded by stcsmh.

The picture is symbolic for a couple of reasons. 1- I turned in a draft to my advisor on Monday. 2- I plan to sleep a lot for awhile.

I don’t know if the draft is snuggle-worthy, but it’s done. And sometimes I hold it.

The One Where Rusty Helps February 17, 2009

The One Where Rusty Helps, originally uploaded by stcsmh.

Rusty makes a damn good proofreader. Well, at least a damn cute one.

The One Where I Heart my Husband February 15, 2009

tulips, originally uploaded by stcsmh.

Taking just a brief pause from my writing (I’m really running out of time, which makes me want to shut down and curl into a little ball and sleep, but there’s no time, because I have to write, because I have a draft due in eight days, five of which I have to work, because I have a job, thank goodness I have a job, but I may need to call in sick a day or two this week, but it won’t be lying, because I will be sick with stress and a little bit of panic) to stop and smell the tulips my husband got me for Valentine’s Day. I LOVE tulips, but I REALLY LOVE my husband.